SPEAKING FROM THE GRAVE

Speaking from the Grave

by Xurbulentt

on SPEAKING FROM THE GRAVE (2021)

This shit is therapeutic
I'm feeling suicidal but I'll never do it
I'm feeling low enough that this could bring me to it
My life is fucking ruined, yeah
And it's wasted, I could sit here for ages
Writing pages and pages, man I tried to embrace it
But I'm starting to hate this, feeling feelings of hatred
Got nobody to stay with, I can't pick up my payslip
Cause I can't find a day shift
Don't know how to survive, I got this pain in my eyes
I can't sleep through the night, my temper's starting to bite and
Now I'm fussing and fighting and my mama gets frightened
When emotions are heightened
Feel like taking my life
It's being eaten by dеmons
I'll be going to hell but I been praying for Jesus
If I am dеceased then they must pick up the pieces
Know it won't cure the pain, it will just spread like diseases

Give my family a kiss goodbye
But they don't know I'm bout to disappear
And I don't know who's gonna miss me here
Only thing that's crystal clear
I'm overriding my initial fears
Just hope somebody's there to wipe my sister's tears
I think she'll cry the most
It's eye opening seeing all these lives erode
But I only feel alive when my eyes are closed
I got depression, just too depressed to get diagnosed

I know that you needed me to stay
But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain
I wish that I could ease all of your pain
But now here I am speaking from the grave
I know that you needed me to stay
But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain
I wish that I could ease all of your pain
But now here I am speaking from the grave

I wish I had my life back
Wish I coulda got myself on the right track
I had a mountain to climb and now I'd climb that
If only I had the time but can't rewind that
I guess I was too scared to speak out
Suffering in silence was killing me deep down
All I can think every time my heart beat loud was ‘how can they be proud'?
So I went up to the cliff
And I wish I didn't jump off it
You searched for your son but you just lost him
I really wish that I showed you my love often
But if blood equals pain then I was blood clotting
I passed on the pain; this isn't what I wanted
Washed up on the beach and I was unresponsive
I honestly wish that I was not dishonest
And I'm sorry to you all that I broke my promise

I know that you needed me to stay
But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain
I wish that I could ease all of your pain
But now here I am speaking from the grave
I know that you needed me to stay
But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain
I wish that I could ease all of your pain
But now here I am speaking from the grave

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I wish that I could ease all of your pain
But now here I am speaking from the grave
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I wish that I could ease all of your pain

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