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Rhymes

by White Star Syncopators

on Rhymes (1931)

I'm just about to hold a competition.
It's just a little bright idea of mine.
I'm going to write a rhyming composition
And then leave you to add the ending line.
I'll sing it right through once in case of doubt.
The second time, I'll leave the last line out.

There was a young man from Kildare
Who was practicing golf on a chair.
On the very last stroke,
The blessed chair broke
So he finished his game in the air.

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young lady of Ealing
Who woke upside down on the ceiling.
She fell on her neck
She murmered, "By heck!
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young man of Belgrave
Who was having a rest in a cave.
He said, "I admit
I'm a bit of a nit"
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young lady of Hitchin
Who was scratching her nose in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
Nuts, I suppose."
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young lady of Kent
Who was always behind with the rent.
The landlord said "Miss,
Give us a kiss."
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young man of Calcutta
Who was having a sleep in the gutter.
The heat from the sun
Burned him up like a bun.
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

My limericks must have met with approbation.
The fact you turned them over tells me so.
I hope to win still further admiration
By giving you a few more that I know.
And let me say my motto's always been:
"I may not be clever, but I'm clean."

There was a young lady of Gloucester
Whose parents thought they had lost 'er,
But it came to pass
She was found on the grass,
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who once took a girl out to dinner.
At a quarter to nine,
They sat down to dine.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young fellow of Cosham
Who took out his false teeth to wash 'em.
His wife said, "Oh, Jack,
If you don't put them back"
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young fellow of Chislehurst
Before he could sing, had to whistle first
One hot day in June,
He forgot the damn tune
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young man of South Wales
Who lived upon fruit juice and snails.
When he couldn't get these,
He lived upon cheese.
La-da-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la

That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.

There was a young man of St. Paul's
Who once did a turn on the halls.
His favourite trick
Was to stand on a stick.
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la