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McFarlane

by The McCalmans

on The Celtic Lute (2018), Bonnie Bands Again (1982)

Afore that I'd been tyraneesed, as I this while hae been
I'd raither rin frae here tae Birse, wi' peas in baith my sheen
I'd raither die for want o' breath than pine for want o' love
An' it's a' because Mc
Farlane married Susie

No Susie's kankered faither wi' mine would ne'er agree
When I fan I'd ging ower that gate, he'd hing his dog at me
So I sent my friend Mc
Farlane roond tae see fit he could dae
Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie

Ah dinna like Mc
Farlane, it's safe enough tae state
His lug would cast a shadow ower a sax fit gate
He's saft as ony gorblin and sliddery as a skate
Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie

No Mc
Farlane spak nae word for me, but plenty for himsel
He reesed the lassie's barley scones, her kibbuk and her cail
Till her faither shouted, "Sprotty man, you could try yer luck yersel"
Tae Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie

Though Mc
Farlane is the grimmest chiel for twenty miles around
They used his photograph tae fleg the rottens frae the toon
He's spunkted up his courage no and asked her tae come doon
Tae be mistress of the Sprots o' Burnieboosie

Ah dinna like Mc
Farlane, I tell ye it's a fact
He's a nose for splittin' hailstanes and humpy back
He's legs like gutteperka, ilka step his knees gang knack
Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie (Mc
Farland - ugh!)

No a dirl o' the teethache's nae particularly sweet
But love's the only pain on earth that ever gart me greet
It's like kittley chilblains in yer heart instead of on yer feet
And it's aggravated wi' the sicht o' Susie

No friends and kind philosophers, ye've heard what a' befell
Never lippen tae the middle man, but dae the work yersel
Or I'll bet my hindmost sark that ye're a day ahint the market
As when I sent Jock Mc
Farlane roon tae Susie

I dinna like Mc
Farlane, it's awfu but it's true
A pewter speen was tint in Jock Mc
Farlane's mou'
He couldna weel be grimmer, taks his porridge wi a skimmer
Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie

Ah dinna like Mc
Farlane, it's safe enough tae state
His lug would cast a shadow ower a sax fit gate
He's saft as ony gorblin and sliddery as a skate
Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie
Mc
Farlane o' the Sprots o' Burnieboosie