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Gordon

by The Cravats

on The Cravats in Toytown (Double Volume) (2012), In Toytown (1980)

Gordon wakes up to his lot
His teasmade's made another pot of boiling water
You know your breakfasts on its plate
Gordon your five minutes late it's boring she says it everyday
You got your bonds and your "m" reg car
The neighbours all think that you'll go far, Gordon
Gordon goes into the town
His washed and buffed cortina brown and shiny
Saturdays are quite a thrill
Gordon doesn't rise until 9.30 or when she calls him
His mummy bought him the Ark Royal
Don't start it now or your tea will spoil, Gordon
His mummy won't let him make dates
And so gordon masturbates himself to sleep
Gordon has a single scotch
Looks at his watch and sees it is 9.30

Once a girl sat on his lap
Removed his cap and said that he was lovely
Gordon his excuses made
Then ran home his ego frayed and tattered
Gordons locked inside the shed
In his hands he holds his head and a hatchet
His mummy shouts that he is late
Gordon slams the garden gate and walks in
If I've told you once gordon I've told you a thousand times
Put down that hatchet Gordon or at least draw the blinds so
The neighbor's can't see