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Chalk Dust

by The Brat

on chalk dust (2019), Two Hands are Better Than One (2020), Down Not Out (2023)

Oh I say, well played sir
Fifteen love
Oh my goodness me, what a shot
Thirty love
Who could possibly return that backhand?
Thirty fifteen
These two boys really mean business today
Forty - fifteen
Out
Out
What!
Out
WHAT!
The ball is out

You gotta be kidding

The ball is in; everyone could see that the ball is in
Chalk dust everyone could see that there was chalk dust

That ball was in by about a mile
You people here goddamn senile

Don't be noisy, there's a good chap
You'll wake the linesman, she is having a nap.

Screwball
Call yourself an umpire
You're a screwball

Play on
You're being rather naughty
Kindly play on

I won't play on till you change you're call
you didn't even see the (beep beep) ball
I come over here to play a (beep beep) game
But you're blind geriatric to (beep beep) thing

The ball is in, everyone could see that the ball's in
Chalk dust, everyone could see that there's chalk dust

I am awfully sorry but the ball was out
I'd be jolly grateful if you didn't shout
If you don't like it here well you shouldn't come
Frankly sir
You're a pain in the bum

Moron, I want another umpire you're a moron

Chalk dust, I wanna see my lawyer there was chalk dust

You pick on me cause of who I am
I am not playing on and I don't give a damn

The ball wasn't out it's a goddamn lie
I won't play on and I think I'm gonna cry....

Chalk dust
I wanna see my daddy there was chalk dust

Boring
I'm gonna have to shoot you now
You're boring

I am sorry about this
You tedious little brat
I am sick of you

The umpire strikes back

(machine gun fire) Rat-a-tat-tat-tat

Oh, You're the pits, you're scum man, you are not fit to be called a human being

(machine gun fire) Rat-a-tat-tat-tat

I was talking to myself.
(dies) uhhhh......