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The Secret Passage

by The Amazing Brando

on Skyscraper (2013)

(Help me... Please help me... I am a prisoner in the dungeon of the castle. My name is Zelda. The wizard, Agahnim, has done something to the other missing girls. Now only I remain. Agahnim has seized control of the castle and is now trying to open the seven Wise Men's seal. I am in the dungeon of the castle. Please help me...)

I hear your cries for help
To me, and no one else
What can I do? I'm just an elf (I'm just an elf with a really large penis)
Who's that and where's he going to? (Go to bed!)
I don't like his freaking attitude
What the hell am I supposed to do? (Don‘t make me slap you with my really large penis)
I found a lamp (That's right, I found it)
I'll do a dance (I'm so grounded)
I'll take a chance and I'll go
Where are my pants? (I can't find them)
Where are my pants? (I can't find them)
Where are my pants? I don't know!

Now I'm walking out in the rain
Like I'm Oran "Juice" Jones
She keeps talking, am I insane?
She won't leave me alone

I rip plants from the ground and then I'm killing you, son
I got ninety-nine problems and a bush ain't one (Hit me)
Man on the run, having too much fun
I got three hearts, you'll be left with less than one
I got a sword now, watch me build it up, release
This is a secret technique from my family tree
I got the strength of a bear that has the strength of a Sheen
I'm lean and I'm mean
I'm a fucking killing machine