Song Search

Opening Doors

by Stephen Sondheim

on Merrily We Roll Along (The New Cast Recording) (1994)

(Charley types on a typewriter. Frank slams down the piano keys in frustration.)

[FRANK]
How's it going?

[CHARLEY]
Good. You?

[FRANK]
Fair

[CHARLEY]
Yeah, tell me

(Phone rings.)

[FRANK]
(Answers phone.)
Chinese laundry

[MARY]
(Also at a typewriter, into phone.)
Hi!

[FRANK]
Mary!

[CHARLEY]
Say hello!

[MARY]
I think I got a job!

[FRANK]
Where?

[MARY]
True Romances

[FRANK]
Posing?

[MARY]
Thank you. Writing captions

[FRANK]
What about the book?

[MARY]
What about the book?

[FRANK]
Nothing, are you working on your book?

[MARY]
Yes

[FRANK]
Good

[MARY]
No

[FRANK]
Mary!

[MARY]
Right, I know, yes, me and Balzac!

(She hangs up. They all resume work on their typewriters and piano.)

[ALL]
We'll all get together on Sunday

We're opening doors
Singing, "Here we are!"
We're filling up days
On a dime
That faraway shore's
Looking not too far
We're following every star
There's not enough time!

(They continue working.)

[ALL]
We're opening doors
Singing, "Look who's here!"
Beginning to sail
On a dime
That faraway shore's
Getting very near
We haven't a thing to fear
We haven't got time!

(They go back to work intensely.)

[FRANK]
How's it coming?

[CHARLEY]
Good. You?

[FRANK]
Done!

[CHARLEY]
One minute!

[FRANK]
(The phone rings and Frank answers it.)
Hamburg Heaven!

[MARY]
(into phone)
Hi!

[FRANK]
Mary!

[CHARLEY]
Say hello!

[MARY]
I got another job!

[FRANK]
Where?

[MARY]
Chic

[FRANK]
What's that?

[MARY]
A brand-new concept:
Pop-up pictures

[FRANK]
What about the book?

[MARY]
What about the book?

[FRANK]
Did you give the publisher the book?

[MARY]
Yes!

[FRANK]
Good

[MARY]
No...

[FRANK]
Mary!

[MARY]
Look, I-

CHARLEY
(He rips the paper out of the typewriter.)
Finished!

[FRANK]
Let me call you back

[MARY]
(She hangs up.)
Right

[CHARLEY]
This is just a draft

[FRANK]
Right

[CHARLEY]
Probably it stinks

[FRANK]
Right!

[CHARLEY]
I haven't had the time to do a polish...

[FRANK]
Will you sing!

[CHARLEY]
Right...

(Reading from his lyrics)
"Who wants to live in New York?
Who wants the worry, the noise, the dirt, the heat?
Who wants the garbage cans clanging in the street?
Suddenly I do!"

(They are now auditioning for Joe Josephson.)
"They're always popping the cork"
I hate that line...
"The cops, the cabbies, the salesgirls up at Saks
You gotta have a real taste for maniacs
Suddenly I do!"

[JOE]
That's great
That's swell
The other stuff as well
It isn't every day
I hear a score this strong
But fellas, if I may
There's only one thing wrong:

There's not a tune you can hum
There's not a tune you go bum-bum-bum-di-dum
You need a tune to go bum-bum-bum-di-dum
Give me a melody!

Why can't you throw 'em a crumb?
What's wrong with letting 'em tap their toes a bit?
I'll let you know when Stravinsky has a hit
Give me some melody!

Oh sure
I know
It's not that kind of show
But can't you have a score that's sort of in between?
Look, play a little more, I'll show you what I mean ?

[CHARLEY]
"Who wants to live in New York?
I always hated the dirt, the heat, the noise
But ever since I met you, I-"

[JOE]
Listen, boys
Maybe it's me
But that's just not a humumumumumumable melody!

(Joe begins to leave.)
Write more, work hard
Leave your name with the girl
Less avant-garde
Leave your name with the girl
Just write a plain old melodee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee...

[ALL]
We'll all get together on Sunday
They're slamming the doors
Singing, "Go away!"
It's less of a sail
Than a climb
That faraway shore's
Farther every day
We're learning to ricochet
We still have a lot to say

[FRANK]
You know what we'll do?

[CHARLEY]
What?

[FRANK]
We'll do a revue

[CHARLEY]
What?

[MARY]
What?

[FRANK]
We'll do a revue of our own!

[MARY]
What?

[CHARLEY]
Where?

[MARY]
Why?

[CHARLEY]
When?

[FRANK]
Not just songs, but stories, scenes, piano pieces, mime!

[CHARLEY]
Yeah!

[MARY]
Frankly Frank!

[FRANK]
A showcase of our own!

[CHARLEY]
Where?

[FRANK]
The club's reopening

[MARY]
We'll write a lot of new stuff

[CHARLEY]
Rewrite old stuff

[FRANK]
What about the girl?

[CHARLEY]
What about the girl?

[FRANK]
Only that we're gonna need a girl

[CHARLEY]
Well, Mary-

[MARY]
Thanks, I don't perform except at dinner

(A girl auditions for them.)

[GIRL]
"Who wants to live in New York?
Who wants the worry, the noise, the dirt, the heat
Who wants the garbage cans clanging in the street"

[FRANK, spoken]
Thank you for coming

(A second girl, Beth, steps up.)

Next eight, please

[BETH]
"They're always popping their cork"

[FRANK, spoken]
(to Ted)
Up a tone

[BETH]
"The cops, the cabbies, the salesgirls up at Saks"

[FRANK, spoken]
Up a tone

[BETH]
"You gotta have a real taste for maniacs"

[FRANK, spoken]
Thank you. You're hired

[BETH]
I'm Beth

[FRANK]
I'm Frank

[BETH]
I really thought I stank

[MARY]
I'm Mary

[CHARLEY]
Charley

[FRANK]
By the way
I'm told we open Saturday

[CHARLEY, MARY, & BETH]
What!

[MARY]
You're not serious!

[CHARLEY]
Nobody's ready!

[FRANK]
Apparently someone cancelled a booking

[CHARLEY]
The songs aren't finished

[MARY]
And what about costumes?

[BETH]
And how do I learn all these numbers?

[FRANK]
I'll bring you the copies of everything later this evening

[ALL]
We'll worry about it on Sunday!

We're opening doors, singing, "Here we are!"
We're filling up days on a dime
That faraway shore's looking not too far
We're following every star
There's not enough time!

We're banging on doors, shouting, "Here again!"
We're risking it all on a dime
That faraway shore's looking near again
The only thing left is when
We know we should count to ten
We haven't got time!
We haven't got time!