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Impostor Syndrome

by Sidney Gish

on No Dogs Allowed (2017)

Unfortunately I am
My own dog, my own fur companion
My own old lady on a forum
Who types in glittery decorum

Unfortunately I take
Myself out walking every day
I hand my legs to the feet and
I give my head to the leash

Every other day i'm wondering
What's a human being gotta be like
What's a way to just be competent
These sweet instincts ruin my life

Every other day I'm wondering
Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence
These sweet instincts ruin my life

I can't smell well, or tell the time
Not K through 8, nor K - 9
(For human, grossly underqualified
For canine, grossly overqualified)

I don't blend in at pet smart
That truth holds true at the wal mart
In either case they say to me
What the f*ck is lost in aisle 3

Every other day i'm wondering
What's a human being gotta be like
What's a way to just be competent
These sweet instincts ruin my life

Every other day I'm wondering
Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence
These sweet instincts ruin my life

So just watch me, moving far away
Nobody even knows my name and
No one suspects that I'm not fine, and
Nobody outs behavioral Frankenstein

Just look at victor in LA
And syd with the y at U of A
And all the majors at the labels-
Rebooting soon as i am able

Every other day i'm wondering
What's a human being gotta be like
What's a way to just be competent
These sweet instincts ruin my life

Every other day I'm wondering
Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence
These sweet instincts ruin my life

DA DA DA DA DA DA DADADA
DA DA DA DA DA DA DADADA DA
DA DA DA DA DA DA DADADA
These sweet instincts ruin my life
DA DA DA DA DA DA DADADA
DA DA DA DA DA DA DADADA DA
DA DA DA DA DA DA DADADA
These sweet instincts ruin my life

(Attention passengers, we've now reached our destination. We hope you enjoyed the flight, now have a nice day.)