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Big Chiffon

by Shirley Q. Liquor

(Southern Decadence 2007 version)

Every mornin' at the very first crack o' dawn
at Angola prison about fifty miles from here
they'd wake us up an' say,
"Come on girls, you better get in the breakfast line and getchoo sumpin to eat" -
except for Chiffon -

Big Chiffon
She was first in line
criminally bulldyke
Big Chiffon

ev'rybody neva know'd you neva bother her
or ax her no questions that might embarass her
cuz' she had a hand the size of a skillet
and would knock yo ass inta Kentucky

Big Chiffon
criminally ig'nant
ineligible for parole
Big Chiffon
life sentence
don't fuck
with Chiffon
Big black Chiffon
How you durrin'?
Big Chiffon

The very first day I got called up in dere they said,
"Have you been picked by a wife yet?"
and I said, "I ain' no bulldagga, whatchu talkin' 'bout?"
they said, "Chiffon got a ring ta put on yo toe." -
"Oh shit. I seem to be married...
to a seven foot tall bulldyke
in Angola Penitentiary."
Bring on the chaplain
lemme go ahead an' shave mah pussy
for Chiffon

Big Chiffon
she gon' take care uh me
Big Chiffon

On the day I got released,
she put me in a stranglehold and
knocked mah ass out cold
I fell on tha floor an' fin'lly woke up and the guard said,
"Bitch, they don' wantchu tah leave."
I say, "Who?"
She say, "Big Chiffon."
"She wanna marry you fo' life.
Do you wanna stay or do ya wanna go?"

Y'all have neva seen a black lady run as fast as dis one did from Chiffon -

Big Chiffon
FRIGHT'NIN bulldagger!
god almighty!