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A Veritable Smorgasbord

by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman

on Charlotte's Web (1973)

b>Templeton: I'm staying right here! I haven't the slightest interest in fairs!
Goose: That's because you've never been to one. You can creep out late at night and find a fantastic banquet.

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord-orgasbord-orgasbord
After the crowds have ceased
Each night, when the lights go out, it can be found, on the ground, all around
Oh, what a ratly feast

Goose: Why, a fair has enough disgusting leftover food to satisfy a whole army of rats!
Templeton: Is this true? Is this appetizing yarn of yours true? Will I find...

Melon rinds and bits of hot dogs
Cookie crumbs and rotten cotton candy
Melted ice cream, mustard drippings
Moldy goodies everywhere
(Yes, yes)

Lots of popcorn, apple cores
Banana peels and soggy sandwiches
And gobs of gorgeous gook to gobble at the fair
(Yes, yes, yes)

Templeton: I like high living. What you say tempts me.
Goose: It's true. Go to the fair, Templeton. You will find that it will surpass your wildest dreams!
Templeton: You mean tin cans with particle tuna fish sticking to 'em? Greasy paper bags stuffed with rotten eggs?
Goose: Yep, yep, yep! True, true, true!
Templeton: That's enough! Don't tell me anymore! I'm going!

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord-orgasbord-orgasbord
After the gates are shut
Each night, when the lights go out, it can be found, on the ground, all around
That's where a rat can glut, glut, glut, glut

Templeton: The goose was right. This far is a rat's paradise. This will be a night to remember!

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord-orgasbord-orgasbord
After the crowds have ceased
Each night, when the lights go out, it can be found, on the ground, all around
Oh, what a ratly feast

Melon rinds and bits of hot dogs
Cookie crumbs and rotten cotton candy
Melted ice cream, mustard drippings
Moldy goodies everywhere

Lots of popcorn, apple cores
Banana peels and soggy sandwiches
And gobs of gorgeous gook to gobble at the fair

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord-orgasbord-orgasbord
After the gates are shut
Each night, when the lights go out, it can be found, on the ground, all around
That's where a rat can glut, glut, glut, glut