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Clown Shark

by Rhett and Link

on Clown Shark (2013)

Ever since I was a boy
I've been afraid of clowns
Their horrifying faces
Never failed to bring me down
The only thing more scary
Are sharks deep in the sea
I couldn't touch a swimming pool
Until I was twenty three

Still every night I thank
Each of the stars up in the sky
There's no such thing as clown sharks
Out there to make me cry
A world without that nightmare
Is a world where I can be
Happy and relaxed in an endless state of peace

Clown Shark!
Im real, im here, im worse than you feared!
I can juggle 5 balls and then swallow a deer!
Im coming for you from the hell depths beneath!
I got pancake makeup and razor sharp teeth!
I use big clwon shoes to chase you on land!
I crush cars with my jaws and giant fun hands!
(Oh no, please tell me that this is a trick)
Do i look like im joking? Just pray you die quick

Did that really just happen?
It couldn't have been real
No creature's wanted to honk horns
And then eat a seal
There's no such thing as clown sharks
Those are just the facts
Im calming down inside
And I can finally relax

Clown Shark!
Im scarier than ever, its time for you to panic
My rainbow wig makes me more aerodynamic
I got big floppy pants and black eyes in my head
Here's a funny baloon shaped like you being dead
I use my sense of smell to locate you in the park
And I drove here in a Miata filled with 15 other sharks
My jolly red nose is smelling blood in the water
So step right up for a feeding frenzy circus of slaughter!