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Persistence

by Portals

on Desolation (2019)

Day after day, the thoughts never change
How I'd be better off under the ground than here anyway
“Just put on a face, pretend it's okay.”
I never understood how people thought that way
Living every day without some mask to convey that there isn't something deep inside of them they want to escape
They would say “just pray the pain away,”
Yet what's lurking deep inside will not be swayed by grace
The mask I fabricate, the portrayal of an actor, a silent masquerade
You'll find the truth in a decaying husk
A pestilence upon me, grinding bone into dust
I just feel like a fake
These thoughts, I will never escape
Deteriorate in my mental state
However far I get dragged down
Something inside me keeps me around
I'm stuck begging that the nightmare ends
But every moment spent awake is wasted in my head
Apathy took its toll on me, and continued to fuel this misery
The only outcomes that I can see
End with me collapsing or just bursting at the seams
I still persist
Persistence without purpose is meaningless
The descent is everlasting
Spiraling downward to my own demise
Caving in, wearing thin, stretched out to infinity
Until I cease to exist
I will either escape this void or die trying
Foresight aside, I'll continue to fight
My fate was never set in stone, and my burdens are mine
All mine, all alone
I will persist
I will persist
I will always persist
Against my wishes, I will put on the face
Put on the face
I will put on the face
Please try to listen
I am just a fake
Such a fake
I have always been this way
Always just a fake