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Daddy Knows Best

by Original Cast of SpongeBob SquarePants, The New Musical

on SpongeBob SquarePants, The New Musical (Original Cast Recording) (2017), The Par Hills Players 2024 Spring Musical Live Cast Recording (2016)

[KRABS]
Life is short and the end is near
It's important to identify what you hold dear
It's clear, Pearl, your daddy always knows best

[PEARL, spoken]
I am not in the mood for a teaching moment right now

[KRABS]
Let me tell you what counts more than all the rest!

Money money matters most
Money money I can boast
Money money may cut toast to
Money, money, money! Ha!

[PEARL, spoken]
You just don't understand me! I know we're not the same species but that doesn't mean that money's--

[KRABS]
Me money makes funny things funnier
Sunny things sunnier
Nothing's crummier than no bread
Pearl, your daddy always knows best

[PEARL, spoken]
Daddy, would you just listen to me--

[KRABS]
Pearl, let me show you how deeply we're blessed

Money money in this drawer
Money money 'round this door
Money money from the floor
Money, money, money! Ha!

[PEARL]
I should be my daddy's greatest prize
But instead he's got dollar signs in his eyes
Daddy, you just don't understand
All I care about is rockin' out with my favorite band
Oh the feeling that it creates
When I hear the Electric Skates

[KRABS]
Can you hear it, Pearl?

[ENSEMBLE]
Money money money money etc...

[PEARL]
Daddy, can you hear me?
Can you hear me at all?

[KRABS, spoken]
I'm sorry, Pearl, were you trying to say something?

[Pearl cries.]

[PEARL]
Daddy!

[KRABS]
Money!