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Santa's Homophobic

by Left at London

on Santa's Homophobic (2019)

[Spoken]
/@/: Oh hey, look, it's Santa's sleigh!
Sonic
Fox: Oh wow!
/@/: & he's coming towards our house! I wonder what he's gonna-
Sonic
Fox: Huh?
/@/: Wait a sec... He just flew right past us... Oh god, not this again. Im gonna have a panic attack
Sonic
Fox: What's wrong?
/@/: Whats wrong?! Santa's not gonna give me gifts again this year!
Sonic
Fox: Why?
/@/: I guess he just doesn't like us gays
[Sung]
Dear Santa, when I was younger
You'd send me gifts every year
But Santa, since last December
I wanna make some things clear
I asked for
A new pair of doc's
& a sword, & some poppers
But nothing is under the tree
So where the hell are my presents?
Santa, help me out
I can't do without
Is this some sick kind of vengeance
You have out for me
Just because I am LGBT


Dear Santa, what is the deal?
Have you since found out I'm gay?
My proof may be circumstantial
But It's what I gotta say
I asked for
A Nintendo switch
Even though I'm a bottom
But no presents are to be found
So where the hell are my presents?
Santa, help me out
I can't do without
Is this some sick kind of vengeance
You have out for me
Just because I am LGBT
Santa's ho-ho-homophobic (Ah!)
Santa's ho-ho-homophobic (You know it you know it)
Santa's ho-ho-homophobic (& he's probably transphobic too!)
Santa Claus hates the gays
[Spoken]
Santa: Ho ho ho!
/@/: Wait, Santa?
Santa: Yes! It is I! The one & onl-
/@/: Oh, shut the hell up you homophobe!
Santa: Ho-ho-hold on just a sec! I'm not homophobic. Homophobes go on the naughty list!
/@/: Then why didn't i get any gifts again this year?
Santa: Well, did you register your change of address?
/@/: Wait, you're supposed to do that?
Santa: Well, congratulations, you twit. Everybody thinks i'm homophobic now... You have to understand, this is some serious naughty-list type behavior
/@/: Oh god... what have i done? I've cancelled santa...
Santa: Now if you'll excuse me, I guess I have to take your gifts back to the north pole
/@/: Wait a sec! Don't take back my gifts- hold on, is that a Frank Ocean vinyl?
Santa: Yup! Blond. First pressing
/@/: Oh god...
Santa: But it's going back up on discogs
/@/: Oh....
Santa: Happy holidays, Left at London! Ho ho ho!
/@/: Wait wait wait no!