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ThunderCats

by Heather Anne Campbell

Science!

Science!

Scientifically accurate thundercats!
Ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Yes, Thunder
Cats are aliens
But before you get annoyed,
We all know they're half human cats
Designed to sell kids' toys

So what would half human cat people be?
We should look at it biologically
Scientifically accurate cats
Thunder-- thunder-- thunder-- thunder scares them!

Cats have spiky penises
They evolved them long ago
Like mini fish hooks pointed back
So no one sleeps with Lion-O

Scientifically accurate cats
Cats are stupider than dogs, that's science fact
Their memory lasts ten minutes, then resets
So your cat knows you once, and then just forgets!

In cat poop, is a microbe
Toxo gondii is its name
From schizophrenia to suicide,
It makes people go insane

Cats are a coprophagic species
This means that cats will eat their own feces
Kittens literally can't tell what poop or food
And we cut the verse about getting feline AIDS!

Cat AIDS!