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Liam Payne vs. Jason Derulo

by Drop The Mic on TBS

[Jason]
A'ight, Josh. Ay, hit me off with something crazy, bro

[Round 1: Jason]
Hey, look, everybody, it's the guy from 1D
Not the pretty one, not the gritty one, it's the one you never see
And you bone an X-Factor judge, your success is no riddle
Congrats to you, Liam, you slept your way to the middle
And I was told I was spitting the hottest Liam on Earth
So I'm still wondering, where the hell is Liam Hemsworth?
After this battle, you gon' be callin' yo' ma-ma
You definitely can't spit, but you can Swalla-la-la

[Beatboxer Josh Silverstein]
Damn

[Liam]
Well, I mean, what are we gonna do about that, Josh?

[Round 1: Liam]
Hwey! C'mon, yeah, yes, yes, yes
I hoped I would battle somebody with fame
Not Jason who though, no one knows your name
I remember hearing you first on "Whatcha Say?"
Trying to be The Weeknd, you're more like a weekday
And now you went vegan, seems wrong
You don't butcher animals, but you'll butcher your songs
"Wiggle" and "Swalla," your singles went gold
Who names your songs, a six-year-old?

[Jason]
Ay, Josh! Give me something crazy, bro! I want something crazy, bro!

[Round 2: Jason]
Your biggest win is havin' an older woman
But holla at ya boy when you sell a hunnid million
Those are some numbers that actually pay
And your first single sounds like one of my throw-aways
And you take shirtless selfies like you a clown
But I'm the only one that should be strippin' it down
This boy right here, he's not worthy to me
But at least I get to tell his mom to talk dirty to me

[Josh]
Uh, Jason?

[Liam]
You leave Karen Payne alone! She's a saint! Hit me with that beat, Josh

[Round 2: Liam]
Yes, my girlfriend is older, ya ain't wrong
Older women love me, especially your mom
Making fun of One Direction, Jason, that's lazy
I got that one D that'll make a lady crazy
You're attacking the things that I did as a kid
Made a song called "Get Ugly," then you actually did
You here to take me out? Well, I wish you good luck
You finally answer the question, "what if D'Angelo sucked?"

[Round 3: Jason]
So, if I were you, Liam, I would've begged my friends
To stay in One Direction so my career wouldn't end
I told my friends who I'm battlin', they said, "Who's that?"
So I Googled you, and no results came back
Your son's name is Bear Payne, yeah, that's cool
I'm sure that'll go well with the kids in high school
But you're my son, you wish you was me
All you need is some talent and a long, black D

[Liam]
Let's finish this kid off, 'cause I'm bo--I'm bored

[Josh]
I gotchu

[Jason]
Oooh, ooh

[Round 3: Liam]
Hey, ho, ah
If people like "Swalla," trust me, they lie
To release that, you had to "swalla" your pride
Say your name on every song to make sure you get credit
Like anyone hears that shit, and would lie that they did it
I ain't impressed with your dancin', I ain't impressed with your flow
You got a song called "Trumpets," 'cause you actually blow
When I watch your music videos, I just want them to end
There's nothin' I wouldn't do, so you never sing again