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Come On Waleed

by Damian Cowell

Woody Allen was my man
Was a Gary Glitter fan
My favorite clowns were Zig and Zag
Spot the theme if you can

Rolf Harris shocked me
Who will be next I don't know what to think
And as for Bill Cosby
I thought somebody must have spiked my drink

What I'm saying is all my heroes went down the s-bend
I need someone impregnable to buck the trend

Come on Waleed
Don't go changing on me
Come on Waleed
I'm talking to you Waleed Aly

No means Yes
I learnt that from Lance Armstrong
And Pistorious, left us with no leg to stand on
There's more royal commissions, than Tiger Woods' women
Pardon my suspicion, but who checks their dirty linen

In other words all my heroes they turned to Satan
You're my new Renaissance man and so I'm supplicating

Come on Waleed
Don't go changing on me
Come on Waleed
I'm talking to you Waleed Aly

The use by date is expiring
I'm losing my faith in celebrity
Now that Kerry O'Brien's retiring
You've got to take one for the team

When I say take one I don't mean a banned substance or a bribe or tickets to Ted Nugent's TED talk or even a Mars bar from the 7-11 when no one's looking, You know what I mean

Put that guitar away
Don't be seduced by fame
Don't hop on the gravy train
Just stick to the lemonade

Come on Waleed
Don't go changing on me
Come on Waleed
I'm talking to you Waleed Aly
Come on Waleed
Don't go changing on me
Come on Waleed
I'm talking to you Waleed Aly