Niggas vs. Black People
by Chris Rock
on Roll With The New (1997)
Now we've got a lot of things, a lot of racism in the world right now, Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people, you know why?
Because we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people REALLY don't like about black people. There's some shit going on with black people right now. There's a civil war going on with black people, and there's two sides, there's black people and there's niggas. The niggas have got to go.
Every time black people wanna have a good time, ignorant-ass nigga fuck it up. Can't do shit! Can't do shit, without some ignorant ass nigga fucking it up, can't do nothing. Can't keep a disco open more than 3 weeks; Grand opening, grand closing.Can't go to a movie the first week it comes out, Why? Cause niggas are shooting at the screen. What kind of ignorant shit is that? "Hey, this is a good movie, this is so good I gotta bust a cap in here!"
Hay I love black people, but I hate niggas. boy, Boy, I hate niggas. Boy I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan. Shit, I'd do a drive-by from here to Brooklyn. I'm tired of niggas man you cant have shit when you around niggas. You can't have shit when you around niggas, you can't have shit. You can't have no big screen TV! You can have it, but you better move it in at 3 in the morning. Paint it white, hope niggas think it's a bassinet. Can't have shit in your house! Why?! Because niggas will break into your house. Niggas that live next door to you break into your house, come over the next day and go, "I heard you got robbed." Nigga, you know you robbed me. You didn't hear shit 'cause you was doing shit! You can't go see a movie, you know why? 'Cause niggas is shooting at the screen, "This movie's so good I gotta bust a cap in here!"
You know the worst thing about niggas? Niggas always want some credit for some shit they supposed to do. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does. A nigga will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids." You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker! What are you talking about?" What kind of ignorant shit is that? "I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!
Fuck man! I'm tired of this shit! You know what the worst thing about Niggers? Niggers love to NOT know. Nuttin' make a Nigger happier than not knowin the answer to your question.
Just ask a Nigger a question. Any Nigger! Hey Nigga, what's the capitol of Zaire? I don't know dat shit! Keepin' it real! Niggers love to keep it real. Real dumb! Niggers hate knowledge. Shit. Niggers break into your house you want to save your money? Put it in your books. Cuz Niggers don't read.
Just put the money in the books. Shit books are like Kryptonite to a Nigger. Here's a book! AAHHH!!NO!NOT A BOOK! NO!NOOOO!
Tired of this shit!Man your kids can't fuckin' play nowhere. Every year the space gets smaller! Okay, you can go from that corner to that corner. Oh, you can go from that gate to that gate. By the time that Fucker's 10 he's just hoppin' in a circle like. Tired of this shit man! Tired. Tired. Tired.
Fe. Fi. Fo. Figga. Boy I hate a Nigger! Boy. Tired of this shit man! TIRED man! Niggers just ignorant . Love being, singing 'bout ignorance.I heard some song the other day,
♪ It's the first of the month.♪
Niggers are singing welfare carols!
♪ On the first day of welfare my true love gave to me --♪
♪ I wish you a Merry Welfare and a Happy Food Stamp!♪
The fuck is going on?! What the fuck is going on? Now they got some shit they trying to get rid of welfare.Every time you see welfare in the news they always show black people. Black people don't give a fuck about welfare. Niggers are shakin' in they boots.Boy they gonna take our shit!
Shit, a black man that got 2 jobs, going to work everyday hates a nigga on welfare.
Like, Nigga get a job! I got 2 ya can't get one?!
I would give your lazy ass one of mine, but you'd get fucked up and get laid off they wouldn't hire another nigga for 10 years! Shit, a black woman that got 2 kids, going to work everyday bustin' her ass HATES a bitch with 9 kids gittin' a welfare check. Like, bitch stop fuckin'! Stop fucking! Stop it! Put the dick down! Put it down! Get a job! Yes, you can get a job! Get a job holdin' dicks! Whatever you do, get paid to do it!
Tired of this shit man! I'm tired! Tired. Tired.It ain't all black people on welfare shit! White people on welfare too!We can't give a fuck about them!But we just gotta do our own thing.
Can't go, oh they fucked up, we can be fucked up!That's ignorant! White people don't care! First of all they try to make it look like, they ain't even that many black people in the country. okay? Black people are 10% of the fuckin' population. Black people are New York, D.C., L.A., Chicago, Atlanta. Like 10 places. Okay? Ain't no black people in Minnesota! The only black people in Minnesota is Prince (RIP) and Kirby Puckett.Shit the whole rest of the country, the other 40 states is filled up with broke ass white people. Broke ass. Livin' in the trailer home. Eatin' mayonnaise sandwiches. Fuckin' they sister. Listening to John Cougar Mellencamp records!
Shit. Get the fuck outta here man! And they need ya help! Naw man! And I see some black people lookin' at me! Man! Why you gotta say that? It ain't us, it's the media. The media has distorted our image to make us look bad! Why must you come down on us like that Brotha'? It ain't us, it's the media. Please cut the fuckin' shit! Okay?! Okay?! Okay?!
When I go to the money machine tonight, alright, I ain't lookin' over my back for the media! I'm lookin' for Niggers!
Shit! Ted Koppel ain't never took shit from me! Niggers have! So you think I got 3 guns in my house cuz the media outside? Oh shit, Mike Wallace! Run! Get the fuck outta here man! Tired of this shit. Tired. Tired. Tired of this shit!