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I Never Meant To Hurt You

by Autumnboy

on Ghost of a Broken Record (2017)

I lie awake, pondering it all
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you
I lie awake, pondering it all
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you

Something that I've been learning more and more in life is that there's more and more to learn about myself. That pain manifests even when I don't know that it's there and I have closets and upon closets with shelves of bottles upon bottles of problems. And those bottles break and smash when I dare to move, so God forbid I don't stand still. I never should have let you in my closet in the first place. The labels on the bottles had been so worn that you and I couldn't see what was in them. So I would break your bones every time we attempted walking in tandem. And I would put my hand to them, but standing alone in the dark is never a safe ordeal

Believe me when I say it was subconscious, believe me when I say I didn't want this. I am not malicious, I was just blind to witness myself tear you apart out of fear. Dear, you are worth more than the addictions of a hypocrite, and you are worth more than residing where my broken heart sits. I hope the good in you is still glowing. And you have every reason to hate me, but please know I am growing. I never meant to hurt you

I lie awake, pondering it all
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you
I lie awake, pondering it all
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you