Is That Remarkable?
by Adam Guettel
on Floyd Collins (1997)
[REPORTERS]
Get me New York City!
Hello, Chicago?
Could you put me through to Bowling Green?
You ready for the lowdown
The real straight poop?
Here comes the mother-lode scoop
Get me Butte, Montana!
Hello, Savannah?
Could you put me through to Abilene?
You ready for the info?
'Cause she's a pip!
I'm mighty glad I made the trip!
Cave City, comma, capital K, capital Y; February three:
"Cave Man Underground!"
[REPORTER 3]
You got it?
[REPORTERS 1 + 2]
Yeah
[ALL]
"Caveman Underground
Imprisoned By Rock."
[ALL THREE]
"Seven Tons Of Rock!"
Is that remarkable?
[LOCALS]
That's remarkable!
[REPORTERS]
Is that remarkable enough?
[LOCALS]
Most amazing thing I ever saw!
[REPORTERS]
Is it incredible?
[LOCALS]
Whoa!
[REPORTERS]
I wonder what tomorrow will bring!
[MILLER, spoken]
Mr. Carmichael, I need to speak to you. I have an idea. I want to go down again with a jack and a crowbar. I think I can pry the rock of his foot.
[CARMICHAEL, spoken]
You're not serious, Miller.
[MILLER, spoken]
We have to try something, and soon sir. The one thing we can't have happen is for Floyd to lose hope.
[REPORTERS, spoken]
Floyd's starting to lose hope!
—Lose hope!
—Lose hope!
(sung)
I want the Walla Walla Bugle!
The Paducah Tribune!
Is this the Mexicali Telegram?
You ready for the lowdown
The real straight poop?
Here comes the mother-lode scoop!
I want the Alamogordo Banner!
The Boise Gazette!
Get me the Bumblebee in Birmingham!
You read for the goods?
'Cause she's ready to pop
This is going over the top!
(spoken)
Cave City, comma, capital K, capital Y; February four:
(sung)
"Cave Victim Losing Hope"
[ALL THREE]
...To "Hurry, hurry
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
PULL ME OUT!"
[REPORTERS & LOCALS]
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
[MISS JANE, spoken]
Lee, there's a fella just arrived from People's Bank, and he's saying he wants to help us some with our money trouble.
[LEE COLLINS, spoken]
Oh god, bless him! Janie, where is he?
[REPORTERS, spoken]
"God bless him"
—"God bless him"
—"The Collins family is deeply religious!"
[REPORTERS, sung]
Gimme the Lackawanna Pulpit!
Pierre Picayune?
Is this the Tallahassee Democrat?
Sharpen that woody, 'cause here's the dope
Chock full of tragedy and hope!
I'd like the Ponca City Sun!
The Saginaw Globe!
Put me through the Escanaba Finch!
Grab a feather and double dip;
This bird is ready to rip!
"Collins Family Waits And Prays."
Cave City, comma, capital "K," capital "Y." February six!
"Nellie, Jane, Old Man Collins, Sitting on Log."
[ALL THREE]
"Remarkably enough," comma
"although they live such simple lives,"
Comma, "the Collins family manages to own a car and even wear shoes."
[BISHOP, spoken]
I'm freezing.
[REPORTERS, spoken]
What?
[REPORTERS]
"Skeets Miller—Celebrity Hack!"
[REPORTERS & LOCALS]
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
[REPORTERS]
Go on, ya' know you're yella!
Now listen fella
This ain't no literary magazine!
I only want the goodies
The mother-lode scoop!
I only want to scoop
I only want to scoop
I only want to scoop the poop
Ooo
Scoop the poop!
Scoop the poop!
Song Comments (1)
On Is That Remarkable? by Adam Guettel
By James Jones
Posted