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I'm So Glad Vernon Presley's Not My Dad

by Tom Flannery

Chorus:
I'm so glad Vernon Presley's not my dad
He'd roll me up take everything I had
I'm so glad Vernon Presley's not my dad
I'm glad he's not my dad

The colonel was an ass that much is true
But he'd look you in the eye when he stole from you
Vernon was an altogether different guy
Look away and watch you die

So love me tender
Love me true
Watch out Dad I'm gonna lean on you
You ain't no Vernon that's plain to see
Got yourself a job you ain't mooching off me

(chorus)

They found Elvis in the can he must've felt so sad
Not a friend in the world and a whore for a dad
Tired of being Elvis everything a bore
Face down on the bathroom floor

I never had much
But it's plain to see
Vernon just ain't the man for me
Gladys is gonna stomp
On his hillbilly ass
And cradle her boy in the tall green grass

(chorus)