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Lol my first rap ever, ignore this

by Samsa

Yo, straight out the dungeons of suburban streets,
I stay so deeply underground that no one's heard of me
I murder the competition just through my emergence
someone call a goddamn ambulance, cause this is an emergency
A regular night for you you're piteous with girls cause you're hideous, inert, and just an idiot with words. Like is the ‘Iliad' an idiom, a pronoun or a verb? Just shut the fuck up, you're making me seriously berserk.
I'm lyrically absurd, I've got a myriad of work, these redacted think I'm a bad ass, miscreant alert. I've got trillions of girls in their skimpy little skirts on my sofa at 4 in the morning watching Phineas and Ferb.
So I'm out at Starbucks, and I'm feeling like a mocha cap
Now this blonde girl's feeling me, so she approaches and
I turned her down, cause I already had my quota met
she turns around all bummed out and that's when I notice that
the girl is wearing yoga pants, like, damn, she's wearing yoga pants,
changed my mind, cause, yoga pants, I fucking love me yoga pants
took her home and instantly she showed her breasts and moaned for sex
so I turned her over and then fucked her on the sofa bed
Look, When I say I have a lot of sex, I, well- I'm lying
Cause when I fuck while standing up, my legs get tired
My ex doesn't call back, she doesn't text me either
cause when she asked me about her cunt I told her her best friend's was tighter
I'm notorious for inappropriately launching boners
I dated this heartless chick, I'm glad I got to know her
She took so much from me now that's all I get off to
so I invite corpses over so I can be their organ donors
I creep the corpses out of the morgue and free them
I keep the corpus in a bucket. list, I'm morgan freeman
I fuck the corpulent ones first, and more than frequent
My corporal narcolepsy tends to leave my mornings freakish
I used to watch a lot of porn so I lack dopamine
So sexually I'm darker than usual, like black ovaltine
I'm the kind of guy you'd never quite catch smoking weed,
but jacking off to horny horses fucking fatass roped up teens
And I'm not joking, please, my sexual potency
is directly proportional to how gross my kind of porn can be
Spent my childhood on redtube dot com and set a precedent
I would only be turned on by hot moms, so call me oedipus
You say bitch and slut so much, you start every line with em'
Bitch, it's not my fault that so many things tend to rhyme with em'
Critics say my lyrics are too sexually prompted, listen
I talk about whatever, why the fuck do you have a problem with ‘em?
I don't give a shit whatever you're fucking calling it
‘it's joke rap, nerdcore, hipster shit, it's fucking all of it'
You're false with it. you try to vaguely generalize but you're totally fucking wrong with it.'
Your mistakes makes you seem like you're nervous and tense
I'm cleverly on a beat like I'm worth double the best
Inhale deep, like the words of my breath
I never sleep, cause slee-