II3SZ

Reality

by II3SZ

on Reality

[Part 1]

So listen, I say people barely eating so I thank God for this bite
No light food or gas but yeah I thank God for them nights
I always knew wrong from right but I never chose the right
Cause God gave my father all the good shit up in life
Cause man that nigga never helped my mama with shit
Wanted a boy but got a girl so told my mama "kick bricks"
But speaking of bricks I wish I had a fucking brick to bust this nigga head until he dead for treating me like shit
But that ain't the case the case is why I chase
I chase my father down wondering why I'm such a disgrace
Man that's crazy and all these niggas tryna fuck
And girls like jell as fuck cause he took me out to dinner and spent a couple of bucks
But I could give a fuck about a nigga and his bucks
Don't need no drug dealer come talk to me in a tux
One week later want a quickie hold up nigga whats the rush?
Niggas want a stupid bitch to walk over and keep it hush
Well I ain't that bitch
So next topic, people getting toxic
I try to stay up in the house like a motherfucking hostage
Cause I don't want no drama grew up just wanting commas
Counting a hundred pennies tryna get a dollar burger for my mama
But the grind stayed strong mama ain't on her own
I plan to take us from the hood to a made haven throne
See mama all I got brothers don't give a crap
If I got shot up on the block they'd probably raise they hands and clap
Cause they think I'm real sluttish cause I do not dress thuggish
I wear that tight shit to keep these bitches mean mugging
So my bros think I'm a hoe fuck for money on the low
When 9 out of 10 a nigga wanna fuck it's "no"
I got standards wanted to be a dancer , 13 years old praying for people who got cancer
But they don't see that shit but in my spirit I'm rich
Ladies time to walk away from niggas who calling you a bitch
Cause we deserve the best I put that on my chest
So worried where he been at its leaving you with no rest
It's just a bunch of stress
But it's time for a change not booksmart but got brain

[Part 2]

This is only three-fourths of my issues
I ran through three rolls of Scott tissues
In a matter of minutes tryna wipe the tears away
Don't want to be bothered today so you ain't gotta say hey
Fuck yo impression of me so much aggression in me
While bitches walking round like this a beauty pageant
I was arrested at 14 shoplifting, ain't have shit
Yo lets talk about the fucking hard life I had
Yall grew up in Nikes, white tees, and hell of Chanel bags
You should be glad you got a night pad
I couldn't afford a pad to put on my ass
So I was using my face rag
Yo lets talk about the fucking hard life I had
I'm out here taking jabs yall out here doing the dab
I'm hoping one day in life my father would take the tab for once
Haven't saw this nigga in months
Cause he out here fucking 17 year old's in the butts
What the fuck my nigga you so disgust
Bitch ass nigga you need some blush for making my tears flush
My own bro told me I couldn't rap but look now
Now I need to know which way to go for the next show
All the way across the map
"You just a lil black bitch who'll never be shit"
Remember that's what you told me?
But I am not buying that shit that's not what you sold me
And the way you beat my ass from one wall to the next
Really makes me question yo sex and did you do that to yo ex?
Or just that one moment you wanted to feel stronger than Trex
Let me know, cause what if yo daughter grow up a hoe?
Would you burn her with boiling hot water on the stove?
Or beat her like Kunta Kinte cause shes blacker than most?
You know what? That ass whooping was the best of my life
I'm feeling sorry for the lady you ever call wife
Cause I got a funny taste in my mouth
Like peanut butter on rice
That I'm a catch you slipping one day and I ain't talking no ice
And it won't be nice its gone get real ugly
You post to be the brother who love me and hug me
Not the one who picks me up by my neck strangle me and shoves me
I know you think I don't matter
But as a individual there's something special about me that stands out in circles like the donut wrapper
I'm a give you one second to count your blessings that you not in jail living in this house with you is so damn reckless it feel like hell
But I'm off it , keep calm
Hey Mom you really deserve every penny I make
When I look at you I see my mother and father lets call that a double take, you are so fucking great
You my superhero you carry so much weight on your back you ain't even got room for a cape
You the only one who give me hope and this the realist shit I ever wrote

[Part 3]

Times changed was dealing with so much pain
But at the same time it's alot that I overcame
Went from hungry last year now dressing in cashmeres
It's just a bag I won't brag cause I struggled the past years
I had a empty fridge would eat me a stale bagel
Thanksgiving Day with only me at the table
No friends or family, demons surrounding me
Sometimes I had thoughts of jumping off the balcony
But um, I kept chewing on Doublemint bubblegum
Leftovers in my stomach more like pieces of crumbs
Around the wrong crowd they telling me "hit the blunt"
My father don't want me like we don't want Donald Trump
I was tryna keep it cool for my mammy
Them long lines standing in that food pantry
Wasn't a joke, losing my hope
Got bags under my eyes looking like a wrinkled tote
It was no sleep at all pissed in the bushes, no stalls
Found a home then we was gone then more leaves than fall
On my mama this shit was trauma
Ain't have a solid number so how could we see a comma?
While I was sleep it was rats running over my mom feet
Just so she could work to get us something to eat
Lets get deep, I'm hurting as I speak
When life paid you dust just get a broom and sweep
At 11 who you telling everything was hand me downs
Jumped and stomped by 20 people while others stand around
Nobody helped, everyday I felt invisible
School so grimy the principal don't even got principles
Once I turned 12 it was all hell
Roaming the streets looking for D when I couldn't even spell
Fighting demons with a poker face like everything swell
Let's fast forward let me show you how my life has failed
Remember them nights with no lights or gas?
Washing up at the sink tryna clean my ass with cold water
My entire body was freezing best believe it
Jesus put me here for a reason
15, fucking on a man that's 35 good in the beginning
Then ate my soul alive fooled myself thinking its love
The way he layed with me
But all we ever did was fuck and went to KFC
It's sad, I degraded myself hated myself
All this because I wasn't raised with a belt
I know mama I hurt you staying out pass curfew
You deserve to sit back but I overworked you
Remember when my music got 11 plays?
Mama we here now these the better days
So I'll be damned if I let a nigga take it away
They body dropping in a instant like they break & escape
Never going back to them old days of seeing them low plays
So I entertain these niggas like I'm giving them roleplay
The greatest things comes to the ones that waited gotta be patient
It's about organization all my albums got my wallet on Fat Albert
I donate to the shelters money, toys, and flowers
We was in it more than hours the feeling was sour
300 people in one household using the same shower
People got some fucking nerve to be mad that they rent due
When people out here on the curb with covers and ripped shoes
The homeless be the ones with good hearts I feel bad
Cause they put everyone first by giving away they last
Think about it!

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